Spent five or six hours with my newly (rented) game, Splinter Cell: Conviction. Played through a bit of single player, decided it was decently challenging, and figured co-op with Seamus would be about the same.
It's not often when I'm so dreadfully wrong - and I am usually wrong, just not DREADFULLY so - and this time, it bit Seamus and I in the bollocks like never before.
So, for co-op, you start off in good old Russia (because god forbid you infiltrate any OTHER countries outside of China, Russia, the Middle East, and America), playing as an American Splinter Cell named Archer, and a Russian Splinter Cell named Kestrel. I was Kestrel, and Seamus was Archer. Seamus had played a good number of Splinter Cell games, while I had only played two, but had done so so many times that I could now clear the game perfectly in under an hour, so we were both pretty savvy with the game as it were. The only problem? The controls got a bit changed from the old games.
Meh, no problem, eh? So the controls will get some taking used to. And so what if you're only in stealth when the screen turns black and white? Not a problem-
Wait, where's my night vision? Where's my SC-20K? What's going on here?!
Immediately, we realized a lot of things had changed about Splinter Cell. For instance, there was only Sonar vision, which gave you a bright outline of any enemies nearby. Then, your loadout always started with an EMP, EMP Grenades, and frags. You got a silenced pistol of choice, so I took an accurate pistol, while Seamus went more with power. When we realized that the main characters of co-op were not Sam Fisher and Anonymous Agent #2, that was also a downer, but we got over that because Archer and Kestrel were awesome enough to make up for the loss. And what was also helpful was when we entered a new room, our objectives splayed themselves out on the walls like that music video for Airplanes by B.O.B. and Haley Williams. (Because I honestly enjoy being blinded by painfully stark-white writing on pitch-black walls. You know, because I shot out all the lights. Okay, yeah, sarcasm doesn't translate well across the internet.)
After trying to infiltrate the Russian Embassy for about three hours, because the cops in that place are UBER SENSITIVE to having lights shot out, Seamus and I finally managed to get to a save point, which usually appears in the form of a weapon stash. (As the writings on the wall clearly stated. I just thought it was a stash of crates that we couldn't use until I saw the command to swap weapons. Thank god there were two, otherwise Seamus would've been running on pistol ammo for the rest of the mission.) About that time, we learn that we need to OBSERVE BYKHOV.
Why, thank you, large writing on the wall, I would never have guessed.
By the way, sorry for the bloody slow going here, my computer crashed like a Banshee with a broken jet propeller in Halo. No, it didn't explode into a blue ball of flaming bits, and no, I didn't die from the height drop, but it felt like I did, because I just lost a shite load of information that I was keeping on there, and now I have to commandeer Seamus' laptop when he isn't looking until I get it fixed.
Have to say, though: He has a bloody fast computer.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Narrow Scope: Team Fortress 2 Shenanigans
<While playing TF2>
Leigh: And you decided to start a Jarate war with me because...?
Shamus: Just figured I'd try and see what it's like to have a Jarate fight without the Jarate? Fuck, I don't know...
Jack: You know, speaking of fu-
Shamus/Leigh: NO.
Jack: Aw, come oooooon! I didn't even get to the good part!
Greg: Still no.
Jack: Fuck you!
<lolAxtinguisher>
Greg: MOTHERfuck!
Leigh: And you guys wonder why I'm so quiet.
Shamus: Have you EVER sworn, Leigh?
Leigh: Maybe once, under extreme stress. The rest of the time is usually either because I'm not watching what I say, or because I'm making a really good joke that requires it.
Shamus: Makes sense to me.
Jack: Hey, let's invite some random noob on here and fucking destroy his ass.
Leigh: Uh, let's not and say we never did.
Greg: Or, we could invite the lady-peoples and have a go at each other.
Leigh: You kidding, mate? Minx would destroy you.
Shamus: Yeah, but not you, Leigh, because as usual, you've mastered the game like a prick.
Leigh: Well, yeah...
Jack: Fuck you Leigh, us not-cool gamers are going over here.
Leigh: 'Kay, but, didn't you just lay down a massive bomb trap over there?
Jack: Dowha-?
<lolbigexplosion>
Shamus: Motherfucking Jack, you fucking knicker-wearing tool!
Leigh: Bloody hell...
Jack: They're called CAPRI PANTS in AMERICA, fucker.
Leigh: Why, again, did I agree to play Team Fortress with you guys?
Greg: Hey, I don't know, I'm just enjoying the show.
Leigh: Right. That's it, I'm spy-killing all your backsides.
<One massive spy-kill fest later>
Leigh: And what have we learned about using the Soldier's grenade taunt on a spy disguised as a Scout?
Jack: It's fucking pointless.
Leigh: Good boy.
Leigh: And you decided to start a Jarate war with me because...?
Shamus: Just figured I'd try and see what it's like to have a Jarate fight without the Jarate? Fuck, I don't know...
Jack: You know, speaking of fu-
Shamus/Leigh: NO.
Jack: Aw, come oooooon! I didn't even get to the good part!
Greg: Still no.
Jack: Fuck you!
<lolAxtinguisher>
Greg: MOTHERfuck!
Leigh: And you guys wonder why I'm so quiet.
Shamus: Have you EVER sworn, Leigh?
Leigh: Maybe once, under extreme stress. The rest of the time is usually either because I'm not watching what I say, or because I'm making a really good joke that requires it.
Shamus: Makes sense to me.
Jack: Hey, let's invite some random noob on here and fucking destroy his ass.
Leigh: Uh, let's not and say we never did.
Greg: Or, we could invite the lady-peoples and have a go at each other.
Leigh: You kidding, mate? Minx would destroy you.
Shamus: Yeah, but not you, Leigh, because as usual, you've mastered the game like a prick.
Leigh: Well, yeah...
Jack: Fuck you Leigh, us not-cool gamers are going over here.
Leigh: 'Kay, but, didn't you just lay down a massive bomb trap over there?
Jack: Dowha-?
<lolbigexplosion>
Shamus: Motherfucking Jack, you fucking knicker-wearing tool!
Leigh: Bloody hell...
Jack: They're called CAPRI PANTS in AMERICA, fucker.
Leigh: Why, again, did I agree to play Team Fortress with you guys?
Greg: Hey, I don't know, I'm just enjoying the show.
Leigh: Right. That's it, I'm spy-killing all your backsides.
<One massive spy-kill fest later>
Leigh: And what have we learned about using the Soldier's grenade taunt on a spy disguised as a Scout?
Jack: It's fucking pointless.
Leigh: Good boy.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Narrow Scope: Mirror's Edge
Mirror's Edge. A creative title for an equally creative game centered around Traceurs - a.k.a. building runners - who secretly and illegally pass information on by hand in a world where movement and information are heavily guarded by authorities and the ever-present eye of Big Brother.
It's a game about betrayal, conspiracy, heroism, and overall first-person action.
That said, I am not without my beefs on this game.
First of all:
WHAT MIRRORS?! You run around on rooftops, and maybe the ground (once) and maybe a boat (again: once). That's all you ever do. Even the "combat" is fairly limited, as I really didn't have the patience to kill every bad guy I could see. You know - since this game was about fluid motion and unpredictability and how well you can use your environment, not "let's see how hard I can Bruce Lee this guy's face into the dirt".
To address my second argument against this game, let's talk about gun physics. Okay, sure, I can see where carrying a big ol' LMG would make free running fairly difficult. Those are heavy guns. And yeah, I can see why it's not so great to jump around on buildings with a shotgun - which is a fairly fragile weapon, despite its power - and roof-jumping with a sniper rifle is rather difficult when the thing's twice as long as you are.
But, a PISTOL?
I can't free-run with a pistol?
Well, I take that back, I can - just not as well as if I were unarmed. See, this is why you should do what Lieutenant Miller did, Faith, and invest in dual shoulder holsters. I mean, pistols are pretty durable. If you drop one, then kick it, it's still going to work, with minor flaws because, well, you just kicked an already highly unstable weapon of killing power. And I say "highly unstable" because those things are like a ball balanced on a pin, one wrong move can completely ruin the thing. But sans the obvious damage, pistols are durable weapons, and they're light, so a measly four or five pounds of gun in your pocket shouldn't add up to so much failure when you're going full speed across a rooftop. And yet I can't jump the building like, three feet in front of me.
Why?
I dunno, ask the implacable game physics.
Now, to address my third point: Reaction times. This game is all about picture-perfect precision and timing. One slip, and it's fifty stories of pure pelvic-region-shattering death for you. But, this same timing is apparently even worse when trying to disarm enemies. Like, before the gun even turns red, you have to hit the action button, otherwise, the guy pummels you, then adds insult to injury by shooting you point-blank to finish you off. Or, that's what he did to me. I dunno, I think it might have been because of my lack of melee.
You decide.
Next: The free running in general. Movement is kinda' touchy and hard to get used to. If Faith fails to react to the jump button, buh-bye. If Faith reacts too slowly to the melee button, buh-bye. If Faith jumps instead of wall running?
Say it with me now,
BUH-BYE.
Needless to say, there's very little room for screw-ups in this game. As in, the window of opportunity closes a split second after it opens, so you'd best be quick on the draw, or you'd best have been saving your Reaction Time up to whatever point you're at that requires mashing of buttons in order to complete a vital-to-one's-health task, because otherwise, put quite simply mate, you're screwed.
By the way, did I happen to mention Traceur in there?
Well, a lot of people get this idea that this game is based on free running, which is basically a flashy form of Parkour not really used for escape methods. Basically, it's just there for fun. Parkour is the "modern-day martial arts" discipline which states that the quickest route from point A to point B is in a straight line, and in order to get to that point B in a straight line, you must learn to go over, under, around or through any obstacles in your way. Faith is a Parkour practitioner in every sense of the word, from escaping the authorities with her free-running capabilities to tracking down baddies with said capabilities. In every notion of the term, Faith is a Traceuse. End of story there.
But, this poses a problem, for me especially:
That means she's really freaking hard to control.
As in, if you're not so fluid in your motions that when you roll from that fall, you're already going into that step jump onto that red pole right in front of you, you can just forget about making that jump without dying. I've tried several times. You have to be perfect with your movements in this game.
And perfection is something I've yet to achieve in any video game.
I'm eagerly awaiting news on if they're going to make a new Mirror's Edge game, because despite my complaints, there are many things good to be said for a game that does first person Parkour so well. Needless to say, even though I had a lot to rant about in this game, it was quite possibly one of my absolute favorites.
It's a game about betrayal, conspiracy, heroism, and overall first-person action.
That said, I am not without my beefs on this game.
First of all:
WHAT MIRRORS?! You run around on rooftops, and maybe the ground (once) and maybe a boat (again: once). That's all you ever do. Even the "combat" is fairly limited, as I really didn't have the patience to kill every bad guy I could see. You know - since this game was about fluid motion and unpredictability and how well you can use your environment, not "let's see how hard I can Bruce Lee this guy's face into the dirt".
To address my second argument against this game, let's talk about gun physics. Okay, sure, I can see where carrying a big ol' LMG would make free running fairly difficult. Those are heavy guns. And yeah, I can see why it's not so great to jump around on buildings with a shotgun - which is a fairly fragile weapon, despite its power - and roof-jumping with a sniper rifle is rather difficult when the thing's twice as long as you are.
But, a PISTOL?
I can't free-run with a pistol?
Well, I take that back, I can - just not as well as if I were unarmed. See, this is why you should do what Lieutenant Miller did, Faith, and invest in dual shoulder holsters. I mean, pistols are pretty durable. If you drop one, then kick it, it's still going to work, with minor flaws because, well, you just kicked an already highly unstable weapon of killing power. And I say "highly unstable" because those things are like a ball balanced on a pin, one wrong move can completely ruin the thing. But sans the obvious damage, pistols are durable weapons, and they're light, so a measly four or five pounds of gun in your pocket shouldn't add up to so much failure when you're going full speed across a rooftop. And yet I can't jump the building like, three feet in front of me.
Why?
I dunno, ask the implacable game physics.
Now, to address my third point: Reaction times. This game is all about picture-perfect precision and timing. One slip, and it's fifty stories of pure pelvic-region-shattering death for you. But, this same timing is apparently even worse when trying to disarm enemies. Like, before the gun even turns red, you have to hit the action button, otherwise, the guy pummels you, then adds insult to injury by shooting you point-blank to finish you off. Or, that's what he did to me. I dunno, I think it might have been because of my lack of melee.
You decide.
Next: The free running in general. Movement is kinda' touchy and hard to get used to. If Faith fails to react to the jump button, buh-bye. If Faith reacts too slowly to the melee button, buh-bye. If Faith jumps instead of wall running?
Say it with me now,
BUH-BYE.
Needless to say, there's very little room for screw-ups in this game. As in, the window of opportunity closes a split second after it opens, so you'd best be quick on the draw, or you'd best have been saving your Reaction Time up to whatever point you're at that requires mashing of buttons in order to complete a vital-to-one's-health task, because otherwise, put quite simply mate, you're screwed.
By the way, did I happen to mention Traceur in there?
Well, a lot of people get this idea that this game is based on free running, which is basically a flashy form of Parkour not really used for escape methods. Basically, it's just there for fun. Parkour is the "modern-day martial arts" discipline which states that the quickest route from point A to point B is in a straight line, and in order to get to that point B in a straight line, you must learn to go over, under, around or through any obstacles in your way. Faith is a Parkour practitioner in every sense of the word, from escaping the authorities with her free-running capabilities to tracking down baddies with said capabilities. In every notion of the term, Faith is a Traceuse. End of story there.
But, this poses a problem, for me especially:
That means she's really freaking hard to control.
As in, if you're not so fluid in your motions that when you roll from that fall, you're already going into that step jump onto that red pole right in front of you, you can just forget about making that jump without dying. I've tried several times. You have to be perfect with your movements in this game.
And perfection is something I've yet to achieve in any video game.
I'm eagerly awaiting news on if they're going to make a new Mirror's Edge game, because despite my complaints, there are many things good to be said for a game that does first person Parkour so well. Needless to say, even though I had a lot to rant about in this game, it was quite possibly one of my absolute favorites.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Narrow Scope: Moderne Warfare Due
The old entry I was planning on submitting was way too long and tedious for me to finish, and full of bull on all fronts that I know would have made me suffer if I had posted them, so let me just sum it up in one quick little paragraph:
yadda yadda yadda, hate the Tar-21, yadda yadda yadda, the shotguns in this game are mostly crap, yadda yadda yadda, AK47 w/ grenade launcher, silencer, and heat scope is pwnmaster, yadda yadda yadda, why oh why did they remove the SVD from online gameplay? Yadda yadda yadda, I find it hilarious that you think a Stinger/RPG-7 combo would work in a campaign. Yadda yadda yadda, lolFAMAS, yadda yadda yadda AUG is basically an automatic sniper rifle, yadda yadda yadda, Price is pwnmaster, yadda yadda yadda go straight to the devil's bollocks, Shepard! yadda yadda yadda, Makarov is so full of it, yadda yadda yadda, Je me conforme à aucunes lois de l'homme ou de jeu, et pour cet acte de trahison mon corps mourra, yadda yadda yadda, why use sniper rifles when an ACOG sight on any gun works just as well? Yadda yadda yadda, SOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAP!!!, yadda yadda yadda, But-but! I liked Ghost! Shepard, you evil man! Yadda yadda yadda, knife in brain makes teh thinky thoughts go thpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbp! Yadda yadda yadda, game over, and I still lose.
Basically, that was what I had written, in a nutshell. And most of it was a farce.
I love how Infinity Ward removes one really good game from online play because "It's too powerful", yet they keep all kinds of other cheap guns because apparently, having one hundred rounds of ammo plus a nine hundred round surplus is just peachy, or because nobody is going to live long with a UMP.
Does this site employ emotes? Because I'd like to use the rolls-eyes one right about now.
*heavy dramatic sigh* write me when Infinity Ward does something right... or when Treyarch starts doing Call of Duty games again.
yadda yadda yadda, hate the Tar-21, yadda yadda yadda, the shotguns in this game are mostly crap, yadda yadda yadda, AK47 w/ grenade launcher, silencer, and heat scope is pwnmaster, yadda yadda yadda, why oh why did they remove the SVD from online gameplay? Yadda yadda yadda, I find it hilarious that you think a Stinger/RPG-7 combo would work in a campaign. Yadda yadda yadda, lolFAMAS, yadda yadda yadda AUG is basically an automatic sniper rifle, yadda yadda yadda, Price is pwnmaster, yadda yadda yadda go straight to the devil's bollocks, Shepard! yadda yadda yadda, Makarov is so full of it, yadda yadda yadda, Je me conforme à aucunes lois de l'homme ou de jeu, et pour cet acte de trahison mon corps mourra, yadda yadda yadda, why use sniper rifles when an ACOG sight on any gun works just as well? Yadda yadda yadda, SOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAP!!!, yadda yadda yadda, But-but! I liked Ghost! Shepard, you evil man! Yadda yadda yadda, knife in brain makes teh thinky thoughts go thpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbp! Yadda yadda yadda, game over, and I still lose.
Basically, that was what I had written, in a nutshell. And most of it was a farce.
I love how Infinity Ward removes one really good game from online play because "It's too powerful", yet they keep all kinds of other cheap guns because apparently, having one hundred rounds of ammo plus a nine hundred round surplus is just peachy, or because nobody is going to live long with a UMP.
Does this site employ emotes? Because I'd like to use the rolls-eyes one right about now.
*heavy dramatic sigh* write me when Infinity Ward does something right... or when Treyarch starts doing Call of Duty games again.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)