Sunday, August 22, 2010

Narrow Scope: Chronicles of a Noob Paladin

Day 1, Hour 1: Oh boy! Starting off a new adventure today! Going to be awesome, I can tell!

Hour 2: Still haven't received first mission; decided to practice on local wildlife. Why are rats so hard to kill when I have a giant hammer?

Hour 3: Level 5 now, still no new mission. Maybe I'm supposed to talk to the guy...?

Hour 3, minute 2: Yep.

Hour 4: Going out to kill me some... Wait, what the Light's a Kobold?

Hour 5: Level 10 now. I really think I need some new gear. This hammer just isn't doing it for me.

Hour 6: Woot! I got money for killing stuff! And some kickin' new boots!

Hour 7: GAH! Somebody threw a grenade! Now I have a Mr. T mask for some reason! What the Light is going on?!

Hour 8: Oh, so you're the guy responsible for that grenade!

Hour 9: Note to self: Check level before fighting. Should have noticed the bright-red Level 80 next to username...

Hour 10: Finally out of noob zone. Going to Goldshire. Seems like a nice place.

Hour 11: What the Light did I get myself into? Goldshire's a Lighting noob-whore zone.

Hour 12: Checked into inn. Bed smells like bad sex on a hot evening. Why in God's name is there a blood stain on my pillow? What the Holy Light was going on in this room?!

Hour 13: Should really stop using Light as an insult stand-in. Really hard to think up good insults due to language restrictions. Why can't Paladins say fu-

Hour 14: Said evening prayers. Forgot to pack jammies, so I guess I'm sleeping in my armor tonight.

Hour 15: Son of an Angel, the guys next door are loud.

Hour 16: <No entry available>

Hour 17: <No entry available>

Hour 18: I really wish those guys next door would QUIET THE FRICK DOWN.

Hour 19: <No entry available>

Hour 20: GOD DAMN IT, QUIET DOWN OVER THERE!

Hour 21: Set fire to Goldshire. Moving on to Stormwind. Maybe a bigger city will be better?

Hour 22: Made it to Stormwind. Place is huge; how in the name of the Light do you read the map here?

Hour 23: No, no, no! This isn't the Paladin training zone! It's full of dwarves and smoke and stuff!

Hour 24: Day 2 commence!

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