Narrow Scope: This Is What Happens When I Don't Get Sleep.

Three in the damn morning, can't seem to wake up Shamus and get him out of the damn recliner so that I can go to sleep (see, my room doesn't have a bed. We ditched the bed in place of chairs so that we could all have a spot to sit when gaming, if it were in my room), suddenly have this implacable urge to say damn a lot (damn damn damn damn damn...), so I might as well post something, yeah?

What to do, what to do... Ah, right, I'll just babble on about something or another until I pass out on my keyboard. God only knows how I'm even managing to type legibly at this point.

~~~

Okay, after I finished typing that, I fell asleep.

Well, let's just do the babble anyhow, yeah?

I made the mistake of playing Eragon the other day, and suddenly the difficulty jump of NOD in Croatia during my boredom playthrough of Command and Conquer: Tiberium Wars 3 didn't seem to annoy me as much anymore. I mean, considering that they wiped my base off the map in a matter of seconds where normally I would be taking them to task with little struggle, that's saying something. That says that Eragon had to be at least ten times worse in order for me to forget how badly NOD killed my sorry arse in Croatia.

Holy crap, I wasn't kidding there, folks.

First level, training level. I had just gotten done watching a really bad cutscene with even worse music and narration. I figured, okay, so the game has bad voice acting and music. So long as it plays well, I really don't care.

Mates, it didn't even do THAT much.

Along with terrible animation and voice acting and music, this game's mechanics are crap in every sense of the word. Eragon is such a pansy that he can't even jump a foot off the ground, it takes a whole five seconds to fire a fine-aimed arrow, which doesn't even do hardly anything, you have a sword that, even when upgraded, does miserable damage, the combos are extremely limited and not all that exciting, and you move so slowly that any half-brained Urgal could catch up to you with no problem. In fact, all the enemies move really fast, until they get close to you, that is. However, your speed never increases.

Your allies, when and if you play long enough to meet them, are just about as useless as Eragon is, even when their Ubercharge Magical Combo Swords are activated. Murtagh's only good skill is with a bow and arrow, and he even sucks at THAT. Brom's just a drunkard with a sword who used to be a dragon rider, and he dies after your first Durza fight.

Oh, and Durza shouldn't be called a boss; he should be called a mildly infuriating pain in one's spine.

I'd go on, but I really don't want to keep talking about this game.

In that regard, we'll move on to something more interesting.

Next time, that is.