I was playing Team Fortress 2 last night with my mates (That would be every name thus far I've mentioned playing video games with), and I compiled a list of don'ts when playing in our group.
That's provided you even manage to join our group.
Anyhow, here goes!
1. Don't ever play Heavy; you will be hunted down every single time.
2. Don't ever play as Spy with the Dead Ringer; nobody will believe that you actually died when they hear the watch deactivate. And somebody has a bad habit of finding you before you backstab them.
3. Jarate fights. Engage in them.
4. Don't, for the love of god, come in acting like a total noob and complaining when you don't get your way.
5. RED team will likely kill you stupid if you change to BLU team.
6. Shoot the Medic first.
7. I don't care if you like drinking Bonk!, it's BAD FOR YOU.
8. Crit-a-cola isn't any better.
9. It's pronounced DAH-LUH-KOS, not DUH-LA-KOS.
10. "You disguised yourself as me? Aw, that's cute." - Shamus
11. "Psst! Spy boy! Did you notice that your watch didn't work? STOP USING IT." - Greg
12. "Lern2Ambassador, plzkthnxbai." - Jack
13. "Backburner sucks, lern2Axtinguish" - Jack again
14. "Scouts versus Soldiers is a bad match up; sure, Scouts can run fast, but why would they give Soldiers the rocket launchers and Scouts the shotguns, hm?" - Minx
15. "..." - Me. So don't bother trying to get me to say much in a match.
16. Engineers are only as good as their inventions. If you can't get a turret or dispenser past level 1, you should probably switch classes.
17. Likewise, Snipers are only as good as their shots. If you can't land a charged shot off the broad side of a Heavy's head... well... I would suggest choosing a more close-up combat-oriented class.
18. I don't care how Natasha works; Sasha works better.
19. "I will gut you like a Cornish game hen" does not a threatening statement make.
20. Why in the hell would you ever decide to use the Sandvich as a taunt?
21. Your gun shoots medicine. My gun shoots needles. I think your gun wins here.
22. Conversely: My gun weighs 120 kilograms and shoots 10,000 $200 custom bullets per minute, and costs $400,000 to fire for twelve seconds. Your gun holds six rounds and isn't really all that good in combat. I think I win here, Spy boy.
23. Headshots do not an instant kill achieve.
24. Likewise, critical shots do not a special occasion make.
25. Talking like this does not a smart individual make you.
26. (Though I wish it did.)
27. At this stage, I've run out of ideas for funny stuff, and
28. I'm just trying to fill my
29. "Let's make the scroll bar as small as possible! :D"
30. Quota, so why not just
31. Cut off at thirty-two, hm?
32. Okay, we're done.
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