Saturday, August 21, 2010

Narrow Scope: Left 4 Dead series

It may seem a little soon for me to already be posting a new entry to this, but since I'm just starting to play Indigo Prophecy (a.k.a. Fahrenheit) again, I might as well review a game that I've played previously.

So, give a warm welcome to Left 4 Dead.

As the game's name implies, there's four of you. Anybody else smell multiplayer potential?

In the first game, you fight zombies in order to get out of a city. You do this four times. Maybe more if you downloaded modified maps to play in. For the record, I got the Silent Hill map, and played it with my three other mates - Minx, Julie, and Nicole, since the only MALE mates I have are usually too busy doing other things (i.e., Shamus is usually railing at a sucky game, Jack is usually poking fun at all the shortcomings of popular culture...) to bother with group video games.

So me and Minx (and Julie and Nicole) decided to play Left 4 Dead one bright, sunny day in April, about two days after my birthday. We thought a good zombie game would sit well with the left-over cake and ice cream, because apparently seeing half-rotted oozing humans explode is a good idea after just eating junk food (trust me, lads, I don't get it either), and the fact that we get free guns was also nice at the time. A Christ-load of ammo also tickled our fancies.

Too bad nobody told us there were a million zombies, and thirty percent of them could kill us really easily.

Yeah, at the time, nobody really knew that a "tank" did not refer to the giant, slow-moving vehicle of explosive destruction, nor that "witches" were not the ugly old crows with green skin in pointy black hats, and "hunters" were not friendly Paul Bunyan-esque people with free rifles on hand.

We sure as anything found out, though.

And it was a painfully well-learned lesson.

Of course, I was made to be the only girl of the group. Role reversal? Oh, hardly. Then they gave me two pistols and a sniper rifle.

Life is good.

Then I got a Molotov and a health kit and some quick-health pills.

Life is really good.

Everybody else had M16s and shotguns. Suckers!

So we go out of the safe room, and not even three seconds out of the starting gate, we're shooting zombies. Eventually, we got bored with just shooting zombies, so we decided to fool around. I did this funny little thing where I asked a random team member if they wanted my Molotov, and they said sure, so I threw it at them.

The joke was supposed to be that since their characters can't catch flying bombs, they would light on fire and give me a reason to be aggravated that they didn't catch it.

But I guess the Witch didn't think that was funny.

And then I died. Funny how sniper rifles are terrible at close range, huh?

So, after reviving somewhere and being saved by my companions (I actually don't remember if I was saved or if I just spawned next to them), we decided to not do that again. Unfortunately, we had little time to decide much else, because a Hunter jumped Minx and began tearing her apart, so we had to save her. But, I couldn't do that because a Smoker had tongue-raped me and was slowly dragging my violated body to a wall and up to a roof somewhere. So, Julie had to save me, get the boomer bile-stricken Nicole to a place where the inevitable horde couldn't reach her, and revive Minx. We paid her double pills for single-handedly killing the horde.

Suddenly, Left 4 Dead stopped being all fun and games. I guess that's what we get for spawning a Witch with fire, hm?

We were only halfway through the next level when:

Suddenly, Tank.

I mistook him for King Kong without hair. And he mistook me for his next meal.

So, I ended up dying AGAIN, but I did manage to finally kill the jerk, despite only being able to use my pistols.

When we finally completed the campaign we were on (I think it was Dead Air), the end credits said "In Memory of LeighAlura", and Minx cried.

Shut up, Minx.

Final results of the first campaign:

Headshots:

LeighAlura (589)
ManateeMinx (345)
NotNicoleRichie (221)
JamiesGotTwinGuns (27)

Zombies Killed:

LeighAlura (896)
ManateeMinx (453)
JamiesGotTwinGuns (332)
NotNicoleRichie (321)

Times Healed:

LeighAlura (21)
ManateeMinx (13)
JamiesGotTwinGuns (10)
NotNicoleRichie (0)

Most Team Mates Healed:

JamiesGotTwinGuns (34)
NotNicoleRichie (10)
LeighAlura (0)
ManateeMinx (0)

The list goes on.

I figure about eight thousand zombies were harmed in the making of that video.

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